About Enough Already

Post 194:

            Some tools in storytelling and dialogue are simply overused. I’m talking worn down to the nub. The batteries are dying, the cord is frayed. Writers beware. If you’re using any of the following in your manuscript, walk it back. Enough already.

1.     Occam’s Razor: I like Franciscan friars as much as the next guy, but this might be the most overused premise ever brought forth in dialogue. Movies, TV, books; yeah, the simplest explanation is usually better. I guess. It’s usually two people talking about something extremely complicated. Then one mope will say, “have you ever heard of Occam’s Razor?” These are supposedly smart people, and yet this query still rears its head. Stop. It’s just lazy. And I’m pretty sure every third grade kid on the planet knows it by now.

2.     “It all happened so fast.” I swear, this is borderline infuriating. It’s usually in a cop story. The cop comes up to the witness or the victim, and of course, the only good thing they have to say is, “it all happened so fast.” We get it. Just because your arm’s in a sling and your wallet is gone, it doesn’t give you license to be completely unoriginal. If I was writing the detective, I’d have him or her arrest the witness for banality.

3.     The “Epiphany Unrelated to the Answer.” Oh. This one. It’s used in mysteries. Some character is fighting tooth and nail for the answer to some gnawing problem. All scientific analysis has come up wanting. Inductive and deductive reasoning are apparently useless. Then, all of a sudden, the character looks at a water fountain and realizes that the bad guy worked at the hydraulic factory because…he looked at the water fountain. Okay. Once in a while. But entire shows and novel series are based on this one-track formula. It can be clever, but a hammer over the head comes to mind.

4.     “I just need some time and/or space.” Worst dialogue ever. How about, “you’re a pain in my ass, please go away for reasons of ass relief.” Sure it’s gross, but at least it’s a real reason.

            I’ll relent. None of this stuff actually makes me mad. I find it hilarious, actually. Probably some editor or producer is in some stupid looking chair, saying, “if it ain’t broke…” I get that. But that guy’s a jerk. All things being equal, I’d say he’s a little simple minded. That’s my version of Occam’s Razor. Whew. I feel better.

            Good day you beautiful people. See you after.