About The Four Liars
Post 284:
There is rampant epidemic that is sweeping the human race. I’m here to inform and metaphysically hold your symbolic hand through the power of words. Here it is: people are infected. They’re liars.
You have it. I have it. We’ve all taken in the pathogen, and there’s nothing we can do about.
Wait. Nothing we can do about it?
This isn’t Ebola. Of course there’s something we can do about it. Simply stop lying.
If one says that they’re Honest Abe or George Washington or whatever, I have nothing to say to you, because you’re lying about being a liar. That’s actually the worst kind. There are four kinds of liars. Let me break down the multifarious ways one can be infected.
Type 1: You tell stories. You tell people that you’re telling them stories. But still, you tell them like they matter, like something happened even though it never did. This is lying well. This is the most honest way to go about your lying.
Type 2: Lying for no other reason than to make yourself look good. This doesn’t really harm anyone else and you gain nothing from it except some weird fake respect from another person who probably doesn’t care anyway. This is a form of lying to yourself, because hey, in the midst of stretching and bending the truth you’ve almost convinced yourself. Type 2 isn’t so bad. It’s a flaw, and as long as one can keep it chained down for the most part, they can live a pretty rad life.
Type 3: Now we’re getting into the nasty forms. Type 3’s lie to get over on someone else. They’re charlatans. We’ve all shown symptoms, but some are full blown and not going back. We’re talking the strain where the lie offers something to another human being and takes it away, knowing full well the whole time what their intentions were. This is like premeditation in murder. It’s methodical, diabolical, and if you find yourself doing this kind of lying a lot, consult your nearest doctor.
Type 4: The one up at the top. Lying to oneself. This is probably nascent in the other three forms, but full blown Type 4 can lead to the worst of consequences. For instance, and I know that this will come as a shock, there are humans that don’t even know that they’re lying. A Type 3 charlatan can at least know he’s a crook; there is something salubrious in that—but a Type 4 has become convinced that their lies are the truth. I know it’s hard to believe.
But I’m not lying. At least, not right now.
What’s the good news? I’d say for most people, Type 1 is actually a good place to try to get your lies out into the open. People can actually benefit from your existence in the Type 1 phase. Type 2 is where you want to draw the line. Nothing past that, if at all possible. Drink plenty of water, tell that guy you just met that you make a little more money than you do just to save a little face, whatever, but don’t let the infection spread beyond there. Once we’re in the 3rd phase, the infection is quite advanced. Email with any questions or concerns. And good health.
See you after. Keep it real. Cheers.
