About My New Political Career

Post 335:

            I’ve had it up to here. From this moment forward, I will be providing nothing but hard-hitting political opinions. Supremely trenchant commentary. I will redefine what it means to be incisive and tip-of-the-spear. I will use words like salient and inscrutable, only half knowing why. My name will live forever beside those of other people that did similar type stuff.

            This comes after a long period of meditation and soul-searching. I’ve prayed on it, if you must know the truth. My wife and kids are in the loop and on board 110%.

            It’s time for somebody to add even more to the discussion, because, there simply aren’t enough unsolicited geniuses in action out there.

            My mouth and pen will be weapons that restate the obvious and pound banalities into the ground with the force of someone that adamantly believes in himself and has no real reason to. I figure if I lose a few lbs. and get a new haircut, things could get really exciting.

            Okay. None of that is going to happen. I prefer to lie honestly, and will continue to do so by writing fiction and telling stories.

            All the above was a story, so, technically, I was still doing my thing.

            I don’t have a wife and kids, by the way.

            I shouldn’t mock the political commentators, in truth. A lot more people care about what they say than anything I’ll ever say. I just like to picture a fictional person waking in the morning and firing themselves up, saying all that crap that I just wrote.

            And believing it. Yikes.

            I’ll stick to good old-fashioned, honest lying. It’s truer. Trust me—I’ve done the soul-searching.