About Everybody Writing

Post 855:

            I’ll be your writing ambassador. Everyone should try writing. I don’t get why it’s not more popular these days. It’s therapeutic and fun, and it allows you to explore weird and unexplored areas of your brain. You get to mess around with words, twist and turn them and stretch out their meanings until they almost break. Words are important. I think. Or they used to be. My memory only goes back so far, as I’ve been in an old Soviet bunker for the last four months. Actually in the former Soviet Union. Their bunkers weren’t as good and I think there’s led in the water. I hope it’s led. Frigging iron curtain and all that.

            Anyway, yeah. Writing. I’m not kidding, it’s fun. And you don’t have to be some natural-born storyteller. Just write a letter to an old girlfriend telling her how awesome you’ve become and all your made-up accomplishments. Write an email to a former employer about the new company you started. Write any damn crap about any damn thing you want. It’ll be fake, but that’s the point. We’re having a good time here. You know, stories are the truth sometimes even when you’re lying. There’s a pretentious saying about it but who cares and I don’t understand it anyway.

            Who knows, you may excavate a talent for the word game previously dormant. Your talent’s probably pissed, being chained up in the basement all these years. Can you smell a new career? Could be you’re a budding novelist or poet. Screenplays are sweet. Plays are things. Maybe do scathing hot takes for websites. Maybe you’ll write for the news. They could use the help.

            I’m hearing lately that words don’t matter. That’s some serious bullcrap and don’t go listening to haters. Write, explore mysteries of language, craft a poem that moves souls and describes the wonder of the world in a few short lines just because you can.

            I say again, for you and for the earth, try writing. If you’re really adept and develop a passion for it, it’ll start to become a bigger part of your life. Just think of the days-hours-weeks-months-years and decades that you’ll be spending completely by yourself, running against the wind, running down a dream, running on empty, and other classic rock songs about running.

            Don’t worry. I’m only kidding. All that grinding is the hard part. I haven’t even gotten to the things you develop personally. A crushing inferiority complex? Done. Insomnia-inducing fear of the unknown? You betcha. How about a desperate need for validation that is impossible to sate? Top of the menu.

            But hey. Progress takes a toll. You don’t get in sweet shape by taking it easy on your body, right? Misery and pain are the keys in the gym and in life, man. Rest. My. Case.

            Times are stressful and I feel it’s my duty to introduce any alleviations that might act as counterweight to the drudge. It goes without saying, but offering mostly obvious suggestions and talking about artistic flights of fancy seems like the most practical thing to do right now. So you’re welcome.

            Like I said, I don’t get it. Everyone writing is the only thing that makes sense to me. I expect this message to take root in your heart and resonate out into your particular sphere of influence.

            I won’t waste anymore of your time. I’m sure you’re ready to pick up the pen, and I’m done with my ambassadorial duties.

            Cheers knuckleheads. See you after.