About Sleepy and Mad Obstacles

Post 1483:

Sleep has always been a problem for me. Even when I was a kid I hated getting out of bed. My dad was a morning person. That made it worse. He would always sound so casual when he’d come in my room and say it was time for school. Yeah, no big deal, pop. I was curled up, warm and dreaming. Let’s stop that nonsense. Escape from comfort. To go to a smelly place with smelly kids to learn things that aren’t relevant at all to the dream I was just having.

A lot of people don’t know this, but I’m not a completely horrible person. If I ever come off bad, it’s probably just the lack of sleep. Call back during the four to five hours a year I feel well rested and we’ll chat it up. You’ll love me.

Humans that don’t need a lot of sleep like to talk about how they don’t need a lot of sleep. I know all of them. Are they crazy? They tell me they’ll sleep when they’re dead. That makes me want to respond impolitely.

My building is so loud right now. I’m trying to decide whether to move. I wake up to construction and neighbors, then I can’t go back to sleep. And I need it. Trying to fine-tune a novel takes maximum focus. A non-tired brain. And I have to get this done. It’s a spiritual imperative.

Yes, I should move to quieter pastures. But only after I get this book finished and finished to the best of my ability. Because I’m going to use the extra anger and frustration as motivation. Being mad isn’t an obstacle. It’s a blessing. Or maybe it’s an obstacle and I’m being dense. In that case, obstacles make great art. I think I heard that or read it or saw it on a thing. I can’t remember. I’m too frigging tired. Cheers and see you after.