About The Gorge

Post 1720:

Spoilers… I think.

You know, the dating scene is really tough these days. I mean, how are you supposed to fake who you are anymore when your whole life is on the internet? I remember when it took at least five or six nights out before you started figuring who the other person was. Peeling back the lies was a nice, old-fashioned way to get to know someone.

One could make an argument that in some ways, romance is simpler now. You can choose from a seemingly endless selection. Press YES on a screen or whatever.

The truth is, it’s never been easy to find your soulmate. Fortunately in The Gorge, it’s super easy. You give two people one option and bam. Hey girl from the other side of the gorge. I’m guy from the other side of the gorge. I bet we’re going to get along. We’re both young and have similar interests. Let’s not waste time doing any more math than necessary. Let me swing by sometime.

So there’s the romance part of the movie. It’s actually not bad. I didn’t mind the nonverbal way they are forced to get to know each other. I mean nothing really makes sense and we don’t know what the hell is going on, but it’s early in the narrative and there’s still time for all the nuts and bolts.

And then the action movie happens. They descend into the gorge. One night together and she’s willing to follow him into the pit of hell. Nice job, dude.

From here I was mildly confused and mildly entertained but mostly frustrated. I realized the answers were going to be unsatisfactory. The great evil is some genetic testing gone wrong. Now people want to study the horrible monsters because that always works out.

Why do certain things transform to certain other things? No idea. How come they don’t get affected immediately? They are constantly touching and breathing in gorge gas and gorge monsters. Oh yeah, they weren’t exposed too long.

I’m not going to watch this again so maybe I’m wrong, but it seems like they just said F it. Let’s throw in a nuclear bomb fail-safe and that’ll do. Oh, and corporations are evil. Because militaries are benevolent handers-out of ice cream and hugs.

This could’ve been cool. Could’ve been a disaster. I think it’s somewhere in between, in that canyon—that rift—that ravine—that hole that separates cool from disaster. Maybe there’s a better word I could’ve used there… ah, can’t think of it.

Oh well. Cheers and see you after.