About Checking the Checkers

Post 368:

            If ever you’ve come upon my book or movie reviews, you might’ve noted that I try to nibble a bit around the edges. I have a lot (probably too much ) reverence for creative works. Ergo… I nibble.

            But what’s with these movie reviewers? That’s right, I’m reviewing the reviewers. They suck, as a whole. I judge them as a whole, because that’s the system. The RT score basically runs the industry; pretty much a sham, far as I can tell.

            I think the average person will see the flaws in the Oscar awards—I won’t even go there. Agendas, agendas, some pretty good decisions, more agendas, some guy dated one of the producers—it’s a totally self-enclosed bubble that normal flyover people like myself will never understand.

            So there’s the RT score. I do my best not to look at reviews or watch YouTube clips, but it’s pretty hard to avoid these days. Whatever, not one of life’s big problems, but it’s annoying at the very least.

            Let’s just take some examples. I recently watched Game Night. Not much for comedies, but it had a high score and I liked some of the actors. Not funny. Total misfire. I laughed a few times at some of the set pieces, but there was something really off. 83% certified.

            Okay…

            The Last Jedi’s still at 91%. This—no words. The crappy Solo movie is at 71%. Totally undeserved. It was nonsense for the most part, but whatever.

            I took a flyer and saw Red Sparrow, not having had much luck in comedy or Sci-fi. This puppy got a meager 48%. Why? It was perfectly adequate, made sense, had a story that was coherent, and spy stuff is cool. Yes, I’m saying that Hunger Games was actually good in a movie. I don’t get the score. I’ll never get it. It’s like I’m standing around a Picasso and everyone is mumbling their praises, explaining the inscrutable brilliance. The praises are flying, over my head, around my head, but nothing’s going in.

            Do I take these things too seriously? Of course. I’m a maniac that chases the wind. Or runs against it. Or some other Bob Seger song. On some level it’s important, because if people keep getting duped, we’ll have nothing but Twilight for books and Star Wars knockoffs for films. And maybe that’s okay. Maybe Picasso is the bomb. There is a strong possibility that my brain never fully formed.

            I’d say it’s likely, in fact. Like, a 92% chance.

            Sorry. I had to. By the way. Doing a tiny bit of research, I figured out the last movie to be accurately scored. Mud sits at 98%. It’s essentially perfect, but I’ll give them the two percent. So go watch or re-watch that bad boy and stop reading my drivels.

            Okay. Sorry to review… reviews.  Enjoy the weekend you crazies. See you after.